after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
