i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
