So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
