he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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