I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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