when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize