I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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