I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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