I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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