too bad you live with your parents still
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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