Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
