Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Vodka?
Forever.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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