There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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