So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize