R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
