Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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