someone get that fucking seahorse.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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