If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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