You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
