Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
cat food counts as protein by the way
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
