Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I'm just crazy horny about you
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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