i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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