Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Randomize
