Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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