I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
