We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
