oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize