walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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