Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
