what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
