god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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