Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
