neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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