NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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