Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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