Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
