We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
