At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
