Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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