he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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