the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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