Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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