The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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