Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
