Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
