was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
