i just wanna soil my oats bro
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
