I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
