I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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