I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
