She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
