Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
