tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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