She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
