More tranny stories later!
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
