i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
