Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
