i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
