My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
