So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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