He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
