some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
