I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
