Little spoons don't ask big questions
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
