Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
