I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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