and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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