i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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