so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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